Unblemished, pure, sparkling, crystalized illusion?
Pristine, in its untouched beauty, drizzling brilliance,
exquisitely lain, ultimate softness, silence
in opalescent flakes falling, heaven's essence.
The frigid air sucks her breath as teardrops escape her heart, intermingling the warm, wet moistures within the facial encircling atmospheric anomaly to form an icicle suspended in mid-air. Failure to resist the power pressuring her chest and eyes in rendering a symphonic tragedy of mythological proportion suddenly overwhelms her. An illusionary musical serenade paralyzing her gaze into its slowly darkening icy tentacle, obscuring her reflection in a frozen mirror of deceit binds her voice. Clear blue eyes transforming into a hazy greying mist, clouded with impurities, distort her senses.
This foolish woman gets lost swirling in emotional turmoil,
spinning peripherals, dreams, hopes, seeking root in my fertile soil,
centripetal interconnectedness, energy to calm.
Softly falling on bended knees, breathing healing life, God's balm
gently commands internal peace, this spiritual vessel rests.
"Reach, feel, touch Me in your heart and soul. I still emotion's tempests."
Oh, how my heart, in wisdom's ignorance, fears bleak loneliness.
Childlike awe, fairytale realms, illusion most mysterious,
lifts me above reality, drifting among sparkling snowflakes,
the essence of my heart and soul, touching tiny keepsakes.
Clean, pure heart, he said. I soar, caught up, his spell, my heart feels kissed,
softly falling into an unblemished blanket of friendship.
Touching freshness, melting shadows of fear, in light
descending from beyond winter's clouds above, excite.
Ever following my spirit's guiding star, hope's treasure gleams,
illuminating joy through the eyes of my soul, waking dreams.
Turmoil ceases immersed in nature's tutelage,
crystalizing truth in heart and soul, heaven's bridge.
Unblemished, pure, sparkling, crystalized illusion?
No! Pristine, its untouched beauty, drizzling brilliance,
exquisitely lain, ultimate softness, silence
in opalescent flakes falling. Heaven's essence
draws my heartfelt breath, binding me in a glorious snow globe,
caressing my face, heart, and soul, cloaked in joy's robe.
© Vicki Nicholls February 2021
Saturday, February 20, 2021 — Shocking news electrifying my core finds me crying non-stop, an emotional roller coaster, so I grab my headphones, boots, phone, containing a playlist of favourite songs, and sunglasses to protect my eyes from the bright sunshine and hide the revealing sadness, frozen in my soul. Driving straight to the waterfront looking for solace, sinking into myself, I walk on my frozen paddleboarding route. As the freshly fallen snow forms a welcoming blanket, I collapse onto my back. There I stay until I find inner strength to sit up after staring at the sun and clouds. I stand, determined to clear my head and heart, my solitary walk on the snow-covered ice resumes. Head down, watching for dangerous, wet soft spots and focusing on memories I fear my tears may freeze. Then I remember last night, a state of wakefulness, sleep evading all my efforts when inspiration strikes, and I write another piece of my novel before I forget. Odd, I wrote about combining moistures from breath and tear to create a suspended icicle, not knowing the news of today would mirror my writing of fantasy.
Soft white flakes brush my face as I look into the sky, taking time to see beyond myself. Forcing myself to trudge forward with a stubbornness born of need, music nourishes my soul. Soon enough, succumbing to numbing weakness in body and mind, my knees sink into the blanketing layer. I bow my head. Gingerly scooping a handful of freshly delicate-looking flakes, I stare. A moment, worthwhile, in time’s passing minutes, I clear my mind in the tiniest patterns of beauty resting in my palm.
A text from a wise young friend compassionately encourages me with the resonance of uplifting counsel, hope, and perspective. These words, among others he shares, provide soothing relief and peace, easing my emotionally-driven burden.
“You’re more than your vessel and everything you’re experiencing through it.”
Life happens . . . so does Falling.
Much purposefully remains hidden between the lines and spaces of my life. I live in my words. I guard those I love, holding them as precious treasured gems given to me for mutual enrichment. It is a blessing to feel I occupy a tiny space in another’s sphere of existence. I honour that space. My heart yearns for companionship. I breathe to feel, see, experience, and soar beyond horizons, above clouds, and seek heavenly light (in all its forms) that I may know myself and be at one with God, his creations, myself, and those He blesses me to encounter. I fall in countless ways. I see analogies for my learning and quest for oneness in the bounteous opportunities afforded me, especially outdoors, when communing in solitude of thoughts, my zone of prayerful petitions and listening.
Dear reader,
You may make assumptions or fall into your dimension of contemplation, wherein you visually relate to excerpts from chapters in your life. Have you ever thought about how your chest rises and falls with every breath? Vital!
Perhaps your thoughts will lead to self-discovery? I hope peaceful assurances you are loved and exist in a special place of timeless, enriching, blessed encounters will strengthen your knees when they are weak and lift your heart when it sinks.
Falling is an experience in and of itself. Rich meaning and enlightenment attend sad, painful, hurtful, disparaging, and discouraging encounters with gravitational pulls. Opposites attract. My experiences teach me that the strength exerted within magnetic (emotional) forces requires submissive attentiveness to see and feel a quiet reassuring blanket of peace covering me. It is beautiful.
I am sincerely appreciative that in more recent days while trying to focus on the moments that suck my breath, heart, and tears, instead of in retrospect, I feel the essence of who I am flowing through my body, like blood oxygenating me. Life is full of pleasant and, not so pleasant, happenings, but I can smile (not always in the moment time captures) and feel its truthfulness. Falling, unpredictable at times, is not necessarily attractive, ugly, painful, or jubilant. It is what it is and will be what it will. Attitude and gratitude?
May you find peace, comfort and encouragement during your falling experiences, and be blessed with friendships truly uplifting, edifying, and sustaining. May you find the courage and love to be that friend to another on this voyage of life.
