June 16, 2021 ~ Barefoot strolling, on indiscernible grains of soft, warm and silky-wet, water-smoothed sand, symbolic and metaphorical in my heart, causes meditative pause as my breathing slows, focusing my vision to immerse myself where time exists not.
Hearkening to the call of frothy, whipping cream-like topped rolling waves thundering applause, I eagerly step into and through the rhythmic musical dance. Rolling, splashing crashes drum against my water-resistant pant legs and seep into my only exposed pores to float my soul.
With unfettered hair blowing freely into the wind, I smile from within my heart. I feel free!
Within my heart, the waves of life
impressively crest in a push
to the shore where my pressed footprints
will vanish with the sweeping tide.
Yet it matters not.
Energy passing through water,
motion, forces, and wind combine
propelling me to ride the wave
or threatening to hold me under,
yet it matters not.
What is it about playing a tidal game of chasing waves rushing to obliterate my imprint that excites my mind and heart?
It’s the exquisite feeling of making my marks, unconcerned they will disappear. It is the joy of feeling like an inquisitive child. It is the pleasure of discovery, of learning, of knowing, and the thrill of leaving footprints, if only briefly. It is the internal laughter and outward grin, happiness.
I think the words freedom and free conjure ideologies, hopes, expectations, and imaginings in society. Living my childhood on Canadian Air Force bases, my cultural and family upbringing instilled interpretations of these words that shaped my thinking.
Of course, societies, organizations, cultures, traditions, and philosophies present shifting values and ideologies (some more stable and withstanding tests of time) that impact our lives. I am most grateful for all the influences shaping who I am and where I find myself at this time in my life.
When I was in my late teens, a desire to associate with a religious organization burned within me, so I researched several Christian faiths and briefly pondered non-Christian entities. At the age of 17, I decided to join a church. There I was exposed to further explanations for the meaning of freedom and free. One particularly stood out in the title of a book, Free to be Free (author Richard M. Eyre). Free from what? Why? It was about choices, opportunities, responsibilities, and consequences and their effect on lives, personal and societal. The premise is that if you wish to be free from the possible limiting outcomes of actions, which include further options, your choices must reflect those desires.
And there is the keyword, limiting.
[For example, if you do not want to be accused and convicted of any crime, avoid situational choices that make it possible to suffer negative consequences.
However, we often limit ourselves with our perceptions, opinions, and perspectives.]
My biggest dilemma came unexpectedly late in 2016 when the life I knew, loved, and the future I expectantly looked forward to changed dramatically. I never questioned why or why me. God’s hands, plans and timing are His exclusively, my faith.
I believe there is little in life we truly own.
Gifted with life’s breath and the right to choose my paths, I face the mirror with an assurance that my actions ripple through time and space, for what I term good or bad based on my understandings and knowledge, limited as it is.
My choices to follow anyone or anything (philosophically, spiritually, intellectually, socially, or emotionally) grant me opportunities and identification markers, labels if you will, but are not who I am.
Life-changing circumstances and the choices made with each careful and deliberate step, until I found the strength and understanding to blaze my trail, opened my eyes and heart to see within then grasp hold of the possibilities.
Footprints in the sands of time eventually vanish.
What does it mean to feel free? What does freedom look like in my life?
It is a contagion within my soul that fills my heart with peace, quiet contentment, a sense of security from within, and joy.
I like myself, accept my weaknesses and strive to overcome the faults that threaten to drag me along the bottom of the sea, or catch me unawares upon the winds of change.
I swim and fly.
I am happy.
I choose life and living.
Is it an illusion?
I think not. Stripped naked of labels, I find my identity and freedom from encumbrances that try to dictate who I am, what I should do, and how I should feel.
I feel like I am soaring, like an eagle above and beyond, because I embrace the truth of me, discovered, nurtured, and loved within my heart. I view the beauties of this world from another vantage point, a perspective of gratitude, openness, and preparatory, practiced flight. There is no limit to understanding myself and my place in eternity, for eternity resides in me.
I cherish memories from many books, and Jonathan Livingstone Seagull (a story of imposed limits, finding the truth within oneself, and living) is among my favourites.
Over the last year, I have developed a sense of my feet and have taken many pictures of them from mountain heights, on my paddleboard, pointing at the sky and my foot bare sandals. They all speak in symbols to my heart, telling stories worth my imagining and truth. Make of them what you will, yet it matters not.
Within my heart, the waves of life
impressively crest in a push
to the shore where my pressed footprints
will vanish with the sweeping tide.
Yet it matters not.
I have found my freedom, and I am free to be.
Life Happens . . . so do Footprints and Freedom
Barefoot strolling and footprints in the sands of time set me free to experience all life offers me, the good, the bad, the ugly, and most important to me, the truth of who I strive to know in the mirror of my heart.
© Vicki Nicholls 2021
You ask about the tidal wave game, it is the childlike joy of playing…just a game….fun, if you will….we need to have fun to balance our daily lives out. Have fun Vicki.