Life Happens…

“Rescue me from myself,” I plead.
Rescue: my soul-hungering need.
Blindness, my companion of grief,
searches in darkness for relief.

Looking up to dark velvet skies,
gazing, awestruck, my spirit flies.
Potent winks in celestial realms
guiding within my heartfelt helms.

Beacons in wondrous myths of love,
heaven’s bright gifts of hope above.
Silently, closing out daylight,
a wand of fantasy glows bright.

Beckoning the weary to sleep;
stardust in my mind’s magic keep.
Envisioning mountain trails and streams,
cushions for sweet, romantic dreams.

Cascading waterfalls delight,
Bathing beneath watery heights.
Starlight’s reflecting dancing glow
shimmers around as ripples flow.

Mount Snowcap, my guardian on high,
listens to my soul’s weepy sigh.
Hidden above canyons, He sees
my nakedness in heartfelt pleas.

They live within me, heart and soul,
desiring love, becoming whole.
Sparkling prisms of starlight wonders,
Mountain of peace; He feeds my hunger.

The dream I lived, the one I seek,
Wishes; He will not grant a peek.
“I am watching, feeling your need,
knowing always your hope-filled plead.”

I dream of love holding my hand,
kissing softly, cuddling on sand.
Campfire snuggles, the brisk night air,
as we embrace without a care.

My mind shrouded in fog so dense.
My heart bleeds love up to that fence.
Swallowing words, I can’t speak,
through blue eyes, lonely truth doth leak.

“My time, not yours, my child, will show
twinkling beads of light to follow.”
Do not grieve your diminished sights
It’s purpose will unfold in heights.”

“Your trail of glorious promise
to restful alpine meadow’s bliss,
lies beyond exhausting hedges.
Reach, grasp, climb my rocky ledges.”

Life and faith; symbolism sublime.
From lowest lows to highest climb,
Immersed in creations’ wonderment
I see, smell, feel, touch. Heaven’s scent.

Inhale the rhythmic dance of life.
Exhale His blessings in the strife.
Breathe deeply of His glorious truths
Refresh yourself in nature’s proofs.

© Vicki Nicholls September 2020

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NOTE: Mount Snowcap is a fictitious name but represents Deity: I stand in awe. In no way is it meant as disrespectful to the God I know and worship as my Heavenly Father. He watches over me, knows me, sees my potential, and is the source of my strength. Perhaps you relate to a force/being that/who is majestic in your life’s happenings?

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My experiences cause great moments of humbling chastisements, gratitude, introspection, and sitting still in God’s creative environments. They are replete with opposition as I look at myself, my past, present, and try to see my future through my imperfect mirror. Learning to understand my place among loved ones, friends, and acquaintances, now that I am widowed, challenges me to the core. The plan and path I securely walked, ran, tripped, and played along vanished in the blink of an eye.

I dream of love again, to feel my heart has a home in another man who accepts me with all my weaknesses and flaws, strengths, and talents. I am learning more about myself and my relationship with Deity. I feel secure in my faith, and I lose hope. I hurt, then rejoice, I cry, then laugh, I am a contradiction. I am lost and found.

Being outdoors, a staple of my entire life, feeds my spiritual and temporal needs, bringing me into submission, alertness, and attentiveness, especially when I am vulnerable. I feel wholly adrift at times, stubbornly hanging to memories of immense longing, hope, sadness, heartbreak, yet gifted with adventurous wanderings that seem to harness me on my mountainous treks and watery passageways.

Blessed with the opportunity of living the last two months in Alberta, hiking, climbing, paddleboarding, walking, and geocaching in mountainous terrains, seeking solace, understanding, direction, and healing among nature’s bounties enriches my heart.

I hope that by sharing some of my photographs, you may feel the beauty of peace, even during times of strife, trial, and tears, forming my most recent visual and symbolic experience. I become one with mountains, waters, trees, and stars. Written, from the depths of my bewildered heart, the above poem is full of truth, romantic dreaming, reflections of inner striving, beseeching, and heartfelt petitions as I meander in blindness to my future as God sees ahead for my happiness: symbolism for me. I hope you take the time to scroll through these selected photos below.

Thank you for listening.
I am truly appreciative.
My heart is touched.
I began writing for my dear friend Joseph
and for healing from my mortal loss of Alan.
I write what I feel, learn, and understand.
These are my life happenings, sometimes beautiful,
sometimes not so pretty, but…
they are mine.
I stand emotionally and spiritually naked before you and God.